BRAK is a citizen of Ghost Planet, sidekick to Space Ghost, and singer of songs. He likes gravy, pork and beans, Bigfoot and Charles Nelson Reilly. I couldn't think of a more wonderful advice columnist. I sent Brak some of your most challenging questions. ~kittenpants~

Dear Brak:
If a vampire corners you, do you use your celebrity to get out of the situation?
Jon 'Corn Mo' Cunningham

JCMJ:
Hello! I came by your house yesterday but you were eating French onion soup so I stayed outside. Was that what you were writing me about? French onion soup. I like French onion soup.
Love,
Brak

Dear Brak,
What's this weird growth on my foot? Do you think it's some cancer? Can it be cured by eating more broccoli?
Yours Truly,
Eric F.

Eric:
Hey, buddy buddy! I can't stay inside because my clothes are wet. I went swimming in the ditch. Space Ghost is mad. I'm supposed to swim in the pool but I'm cooking beans in there. They have to soak. I found a nickel, a spork and a wig in the ditch when I was swimming. Now, I have to stand in the driveway until I'm dry.
Love,
Brak

Dearest Brak,
Will you be my Mom?
Sincerely,
Little Boy

Little Boy:
Hey there, buddy buddy! Thanks for writin' me. I slobbered on your e-mail thingie. I'm sorry. Hey! Did you know that I used to have a sock full of beans? I couldn't keep it in the house, though. One day he hopped away and joined a traveling sock circus. He was known as Soggy, The Amazing Leaky Sock.
Love,
Brak

Dear Brak:
I wrote a song about you. It's called I LOVE BRAK. It is sung to the tune of "Nobody's Fool" and has the same lyrics as "Nobody's Fool." I hope you like it, I wrote it just for you.
xo,
kittenpants

Kittenpants:
Whatcha doing? Hey, whatcha doing? Hey!!!!! Watcha doing? Is this green or yellow? I can't tell. I have to get dressed for a party. I'm going as a disposable cup salesman!!!
Love,
Brak