I can't think of any job that's cooler than handing out free meat on a toothpick to passerby mall-walkers. I, a mall-walker myself, know how important these meat-pushers are to society. There have been plenty of times when I've been broke and hungry and survived thanks to those little meat samples. And who hasn't played the game "Let's See How Many Times I Can Walk By And Take A Sample Before They Realize I Keep Walking By And Taking Samples"? With tape recorder and camera in tow, I pursued an interview with Arthur, Meat Sample Dude at the Cajun Big Easy in Green Acres Mall. Read and see what makes the great Meat Men tick.

Adam: Why is it that you do what you do?
Arthur: It's what I get paid for. Plus I can stand here and meet [meat] people.

AL: What are some negative aspects of your job?
A: Sometimes I feel stupid.
AL: Never, NEVER feel stupid. You are doing such a great service and you should be proud.
A: Umm, okay. Thanks.
AL: Shit, didn't meat to get carried away.
A: S'okay.

A: Do you get pissed when people take too many samples?
A: I want to kill them. They're greedy and they take advantage of my generosity. After they walk by four times I start to get pissed.

AL: Have you had any trouble with anti-meat people?
A: Nope, not even dirty looks. In fact, people usually thank me. I was even tipped TWICE! A dollar each time!!

AL: What are some things you learned from working here?
A: Always be prepared. Make sure you have enough chicken on your plate, and always have enough toothpicks.

AL: I want you to know that your service here is highly appreciated. Do you have any final comments?
A: Yeah, I'm single. And, umm, a stud. So come visit me at the Cajun Big Easy.

Note: Arthur was soon fired after this interview was printed.  Reprinted with kind permission from Adam.