kp: Do you think you'll have an actual "art" show before too long? I hear there is a clamoring in the city for your drawings.
JF: Well, actually, I had an art show here already but it was on the bathroom wall of a pizza place in Alphabet City so not too many of the "right" people got too see it. Just a few junkies and some assorted C.H.U.D.S

kp: What should I tell my dad when he sees the artwork you've done on my walls? He doesn't usually go for "obscenity".
JF: Something is only "obscene" if you get aroused by it. If he says anything about it then he obviously has a problem. I don't consider the thought of finding a baby in a dumpster erotic. On second thought...

kp: Who makes the best Eggs Benedict in New York?
JF: Chez le Chef on Lexington [at 29th]. Check out my review on citysearch.com it's under the name "rex from texas". That was the best fuckin' meal I've ever eaten. And I've eaten a lot of meals.

kp: Of the bars you've visited here--any favorites?
JF: I like "Deaf Randy's Go-Go Barbecue". I also am partial to "The Vomit Lounge". Oh, and there's this lovely little place on the Lower East Side called "The Shithole".

kp: Have you seen any celebrities since you've been here?
JF: Don Knotts, Mr. Belvedere, Gordon Jump, Wendy & Lisa, George Burns' ghost, David Gates from Bread, three members of the Little River Band, Robbie Benson, Benson, Tom Wopat, William Zabka, Clint Howard, Howard Hessman, the guy who played "Enos" on Dukes of Hazard, and Cher. Not bad for only being here a month.

kp: How fun was our trip to Atlantic City? Did you want to make out with Sheila E.? I heard you got her autograph...
JF: I did make out with her. While she was sleeping.

kp: Who's got the crack?
JF: Chester, the guy who works at "Mama's Fried Chicken" in Williamsburg.