Can anyone get through an article about Joan without mentioning the whole "lesbian" thing? Apparently not. I just mentioned it in the first sentence. Okay. Joan Jett is gay. Now let's move on.

More importantly, Joan Jett can still party like it's 1979. Through some rock and roll loophole, I was allowed access to Joan and The Blackhearts for a few days in Richmond, VA. It's not important how it happened, it just did.

So I drive down from New York and somehow beat them to the hotel and decide to have a drink in the lobby bar while I wait. As I am the only person in the room without bleached blonde hair inside a tight pink scrunchy, I am noticed and conversations are hushed as I pass by.

Unfortunately, they quickly resume and I realize everyone else is also anxiously awaiting the Blackhearts' arrival.

"She can't be gay because in that song, you know, 'I Love Rock and Roll', she is singing about a guy."

This is the observation made by the bartender's pregnant sister, who's working on a drink of her own, in between drags of her cigarette. ("They're only Virginia Slims - they're fine!").

They talk about what they're going to say to Joan when she arrives. I want to tell them "she won't be here until tomorrow," but I know this will only invite conversation, which I am trying to avoid. An hour later, the band finally arrives. The guitar tech comes over to let me know he's dropping off his gear and will be right back. So I'm alone again, only now, "they" know: I'm with the band.

"We knew you were with them."

"Where's Joan?"

"I'm sorry I charged you for the wine. Let me get you another glass."

Okay, so that last one I didn't mind so much. The boys return downstairs and we pile into my car and head to Sharky's, the local pool hall, and the only place in town open past midnight. We weren't exactly welcomed at first, but once the locals saw we weren't going to raise Hell, they stopped watching us.

In fact, my fantasy of wild-and-crazy-rock-band-on-the-road was completely deflated. These guys tour all year round and they've been doing it for years. All that crazy shit is over. Not that they don't have fun and get fucked. They're just more discreet about it.