kp: When I make my Jeremy Piven/Michael Jeter buddy-cop movie, will you play the evil sidekick to Andy Richter's notorious villain?
hjb: I'll do anything to get the chance to work with 'Sir' Jeremy Piven.

kp: Who are comedy's funniest ladies?
hjb: Cathy, Betty and the mom from For Better or For Worse.

kp: One of the staff wants to know what Space Ghost is really like: "Is he funnier than Dr. Katz? Or is it all smoke and mirrors?"
hjb: Don't even humor that staff member.

kp: You're right. How tall are you?
hjb: 5'6"...I know, I'll try and do better, I promise.

kp: Describe your feelings on the following subjects:
hjb: No, you match your subjects correctly with the corresponding feelings.
kp: Okay. 1g; 2j; 3e; 4k; 5h; 6c; 7f; 8b; 9d; 10a; 11i

kp: Do you have any strong opinions on pie?
hjb: Use tapioca instead of flour for the filling...it's a better binder...and then leave the rest up to Jesus and his chorus of angels.

kp: Where is the best place to get pie in NYC?
hjb: I hate trick questions.

kp: You just had a baby. Is that scary or exciting?
hjb: Hey, one more kid in this world ain't gonna kill us.

kp: Do you have any questions for kittenpants?
hjb: Is Bruce Willis finally getting his Oscar this year or what? Is he even nominated? Does he still do movies? What's with him and Demi? It's like on-again, off-again, on-again...hey, Bruce, Demi...pick one already!!!!

kp: DIE HARD IV: FUCKING DIE ALREADY should be Bruce's finest hour.

Thanks to Jon for the interview! See him in NYC Sundays at TINKLE or Mondays at Midnight Pajama Jam.