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53 Things that Eminem Uses to Wipe His Ass
by SweetBoyGuy
  1. Bark
  2. Caviar
  3. Records
  4. MTV Movie Awards
  5. Brittany Murphy's eyelids
  6. Own shit
  7. Own hands
  8. Haley's Barbies
  9. Haley's hair
  10. Huggies
  11. A microphone
  12. Acid wash jeans
  13. Polaroid taken of a television playing the program Sanford and Son
  14. Grass from the field of Super Bowl XVIII
  15. A piece of the Berlin Wall dipped in a huge batter of macaroni and cheese
  16. Original Press Kit for the movie "A.I."
  17. Earthquake Survival Kit
  18. Neon band-aids
  19. Macadamia nuts
  20. Goofy Mad-Libs
  21. Skymall Magazine (when flying)
  22. Highlights For Kids (when at Dr.'s office)
  23. Skymall Magazine (when not flying)
  24. Own dick and balls
  25. shitcape
  26. JeLlYBeaNz!!!®
  27. Pipin' hot aluminum foil
  28. Passover Haggadah
  29. Molten lava
  30. One of those cuban stripe shirts
  31. Cosmopolitan Subscription Inserts
  32. VHS Box for the movie COPLAND
  33. Toilet paper
  34. Eucalyptus
  35. Post -It® Notes
  36. The toilet seat
  37. M & M's®
  38. A slinky
  39. Orchids
  40. Dogshit
  41. Liner notes to Beach Boys Pet Sounds 20th Anniversary Re-issue
  42. Dr. Dre
  43. Carbon paper
  44. Lance Ito's moustache
  45. Jared Leto's passport
  46. Don Rickles' aura®
  47. Elliot Weinstein's 4th grade volcano science fair project
  48. Grapes
  49. this
  50. Coaxial cable
  51. McDonald's Fish Fillet Sandwich
  52. Sheet music for "Hello Dolly"
  53. Gravity

    54. ***
Kittenpants
PAGE ONE
INTERVIEW: Eugene Mirman
FEATURE: Predictions for the Third Season of 24
FEATURE: Celebrity Wills
FEATURE: Eminem
FEATURE: So Your Daughter Wants a Boob Job
FEATURE: Fables of the Reconstruction
FEATURE: Worst Birthday Ever
COLUMN: Music News + Reviews
COLUMN: Corn Mo's Tales of Wonder
COLUMN: Mostly...by Franky Pelvis
COLUMN: Video Fun with Tim and Eric
COLUMN: Filthy Celebrity Imposter
 

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