Opinions are like assholes, and you’re an asshole.

When you assume, you make an “ass” out of “u”, you “asshole.”

It is better to have loved and lost than to be as big an asshole as you are.

Everything that can go wrong will go wrong, because of what an asshole you are.

Make like a tree and shut your damn mouth, you asshole.

Heaven won’t have me, because you’re an asshole, and Hell won’t have me either, for the same reason. Fuck you.

If it ain’t broke, you’ll probably break it eventually, you asshole.

Your pants must be aliens, ‘cuz your ass is out of this world [Note: this timeless classic can never be improved upon, only passed down through the generations as the golden nugget it is.]

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