His Pants Won't Pull Up

There was this young boy named Ralph Red who had pants that would not pull up. It always looked as though he'd just been potty. His underwear came up but his pants refused.

"Hello, my name is Ralph Red."

"Alfred?"

"No, Ralph R-"

"HEY, YOU'RE PANTS ARE DOWN, ASSHOLE!"

"I know. I can't pull them-"

"ASSHOLE!"

Whenever someone would complain about anything within earshot, Ralph would always reply, "At least you can pull your pants up."

***