Franky Pelvis to USA: Chill.
Every day in the news the US vows to do some crap, that upon further reflection, is actually quite hard to do. It's always, "US VOWS TO END WORLD TERRORISM," or "US VOWS TO SPREAD LIBERTY ACROSS MID-EAST."

You know what I vow to do? "FRANKY PELVIS VOWS TO PAY VERIZON BILL, SO HE CAN MAKE OUTBOUND CALLS AGAIN". And even that is overly optimistic. How about:

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It's bigger news when there AREN'T any new abuse photos
I'm seriously going to assign "new batch of photos released today detailing abuse at Iraqi detention center" to <Shift-F1> so I don't have to type it so much.

News in Brief:
Monday: <Shift-F1>
Tuesday: <Shift-F1>
Wednesday: <Shift-F1>
etc...

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I'm going to make the Best Movie Ever!
Like it's going to star DMX and he's just going to beat the living crap out of all these mean old racist white Senators. LIKE HE'LL SERIOUSLY FIGHT 100 WEAK STUPID WHITE GUYS AT ONCE IN THE CAPITOL BUILDING! And while he's beating them up he'll make noise like he does on his record.

"Uh. yeah uh-huh yeah uhhhh yeah ...... WHAT!!!!"

It'll be like a 1960's Batman episode except with socio-economic commentary.

The movie will be entitled F.U.C.K. THAT S.H.I.T.

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Jesus Christ! John Kerry Killed 20 VC!
John Kerry killed 20 people in Vietnam, that's like .007 9/11's or .00000333 Holocausts! Whatever, it's more people than I killed.

John Kerry is Crazy, He killed almost as many people as Uma Thuman in Kill Bill, and as many as Kiefer Sutherland in an average hour. John Kerry kills anything that moves. I'm sick of rappers coming out with albums being all "Yea Bitch! uhhhh! I'm a cold Blooded Killa. yeah uh-huh WHAT!!!" John Kerry needs to rap about killing people.

John Kerry kills everything. He's like Steven Segal, or Hamlet or something. Remind me to never ever ever fuck with John Kerry. I take back all that Frankenstein shit I said.

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