While Republicans were digging up dirt on Kerry, Democrats uncovered some secrets of their own about the current President.

* Wets the bed

* Is the only puppet less articulate than Cookie Monster

* Has secret crush on Hillary Duff.

* Uses terror to distract public from real issues; like when he hired Kool-Aid man to burst into the room during his 9-11 commission testimony.

* Is a virgin.

* Launched his own website in 1998 which counted down the days until the Olsen Twins became billionaires.

* Pronounces it "con-sti-ma-too-shun".

* Has flip-flopped on his approval of Cat Stevens' Greatest Hits.

* Didn't think Fahrenheit 911 was as good as Roger and Me.

* During first term as President, applied the unpopular "Brewster's Millions" theory of economics, spending billions of dollars in a short time, while leaving nothing to show for it.

* Thinks the "jury's still out" on Scientology.

* Every time he drops a bomb on Iraq, asks Sadaam, "Why are you hitting yourself?"

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