Q: Who are you and why do I keep getting these emails?
A: I am kittenpants. You are reading the kittenpants announcements. Probably because I found your name or email address in the trash and signed you up to make myself feel better by appearing "popular" on the internet. Or we could be "close friends". Or both.

Q: Who is Keith Gordon? Why is he mentioned in the kittenpants info? A: Keith Gordon is a teen actor turned indie director. He starred in movies like DRESSED TO KILL and CHRISTINE, and directed movies like THE CHOCOLATE WAR and MOTHER NIGHT.
But he's more than that. He represents my attachment to obscure film references, and also he had really cute hair. Check out his wacky-70's-wild-and- crazy-guy wardrobe in JAWS II, and his life-imitates-art performance of a filmmaker wannabe in THE LEGEND OF BILLIE JEAN. Fair is fair!
	Gordon

Q: I see that you interviewed [insert somewhat famous person]. Can you put me in touch with him/her?
A: No. Sorry.

Q: No, no, no. It's not like that. I don't want to bother/stalk that person. I just want an autograph/question answered.
A: I know, I know. But I don't give out that information. You should stop asking.