Q: Did you just make up that question, or is that truly 'frequently asked.'
A: No, I made it up. No one ever asks me that.

Q: Who will you interview next? Any other "celebrities?"
A: I've contacted Clint Howard. That's my biggest dream interview.  Then, of course, there's Keith Gordon, Gordon Jump, Elvis Costello, Willie Nelson, "Nelson", Lenny Von Dohlen, David Soul, David Spade, David Yaffe, David Quadrini, Dave Foley, Dave Thomas (the Canadian, not the Wendy's guy), Dave Thomas (the Wendy's guy*), Dave Chapman (Carol's cat), Dave Potosky, Dave Pruitt, and Kevin Kline.

Q: You are always encouraging people to submit articles for the newsletter. Why?
A: I like to encourage diversity within the newsletter, and showcase more than one style of writing. Also, I'd like it to provide a forum for you, the reader, to put in your own "two cents". Mainly, though, it's because I am often a suck-y writer and I need help filling the space. I mean, "suck-y" isn't even a word, for chrissakes!

Q: So you'll publish anything I submit?
A: No. Almost anything, but not just anything. I don't want to censor, but I also won't publish the extremely offensive like, "Why Hitler Was Right" or "Vegan Recipes".

Q: How many people read the newsletter?
A: I am the only one.

Q: So these FAQs are just for your benefit?
A: Yes. I sometimes get confused.

Q: Okay! Thanks!
A: Sure thing.

*R.I.P., sweet hamburger man.