Desperate Australian Lifeguard
This guy needs a Valentine so badly, he's put himself in a bubble. That makes sense, right?

***

More Valentine Poetry
Lots of you sent in your own ValentiMes haikus after reading Nicholas Moore's on Wednesday.

Claire Zulkey
To my single friends:
Valentines Day is over-
Rated, so calm down.

Dear Mom and Dad, thanks
For the Valentine and the
Five bucks. I love you.

Molly
Instead of a box
Of Valentine's candy, you
Gave me crabs, asshole.

Matt Tobey
Roses are redish,
Violets are purplish.
Your cooch is both. Oops!

Since I know you don't
Like eating candy or sweets,
Here's a baboon's heart.

and some from me...
He slapped me and said,
"This is what it sounds like when
Doves cry, cocksucker!"

1,2,3,4,5
6,6,6,6,6,7
I repeated 6.

Why can't monsters get
Along with other monsters?
Silver Jews sang that.

The Empire Strikes Back.
He's frozen in carbonite;
Wookiee got so sad.

Thanks to Claire, Molly, and Matt.

Feel free to submit your own links/comments.