Black Titty Ruins Everything
More fallout from "the tit that destroyed America."

"The House of Representatives overwhelmingly approved [in a 389-38 vote] legislation that seeks to exponentially increase fines broadcasters and performers pay for violating the nation's indecency laws."

"If they're going to attack offensive programming, they should start with According to Jim."

In the last four years, FCC indecency fines have increased from $400 thousand to over $7 million. Hey! Overprotective soccer-mom! Get out of my television and go read to your thirteen artificially-inseminated children. Some of us still like to get pregnant the old-fashioned way, and it ain't gonna happen if you remove all the hot sexy sex and dirty words from the boob tube.

Honestly, I'm just so tired of waving the flag of protected speech and having Congress set it on fire.

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More or Less Free Speech
Apparently NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg wants to patent the phrase The World's Second Home and make it NYC's official slogan.

First of all, that's scraped directly from the bottom of the clever-slogan barrel--even more meaningless than Disney's "Happiest place on Earth." The world's second home? I suppose, much like a visit to NYC, most people can't afford a second home, so it does sort of apply. But it's not fair to those of us who live here. I already consider my East Village apartment my first home, several bars in the Lower East Side my second home, and a series of tunnels and caves that I have secured "in case of emergency" my third, and final home.

Secondly, Can people take a break from copyrighting phrases? Mayor Mike: chill the fuck out. What, you came up with the magic combination of words that no one on Earth has bothered to use since the invention of written language and you want to corner the market on it? Was this Paul McCartney's idea? Who is going to steal it? Are you afraid that when I declare Carson Daly's asshole to be the world's second home that it'll hurt your t-shirt sales?

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Don't Call It a Comeback
George Michael has stopped believing the hype and finally retired from the recording business. But "before" he disappears completely from the world's radar, he has made a documentary about his life and career.

"Michael railed against the advent of manufactured bands and the music world's obsession with celebrity, explaining that he was not interested in competing with the likes of British musicians Robbie Williams or Will Young... "Nobody want to hear about politics, or any kind of strong ideas in pop any more."

I suppose it's the world who will suffer that loss--never again dancing to the socially relevant beat of a song like "Wham Rap."

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Kittenpants.

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