The Blurbs
For the aspiring author trying desperately to surpass TOMMYLAND's place on The New York Times bestseller list, the right blurb on the book jacket can really make a difference. Bob Odenkirk can help. For the right price, your book could feature one of his sure-to-sell-it reviews, like:

"The writing in this book is so darn sexy it masturbates you."

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Papal two cents

"I've been trying to decide how much of an impact the new Pope will have on my life. I have narrowed it down to somewhere between infinitesimal and nonexistent."

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Roasted
I have really been enjoying the Yankee Pot Roast lately, and I laughed and laughed when I read this article, entitled, I Am a Terrible Person to Cheat on Your Boyfriend With.

"There are you and your boyfriend wearing oversized sombreros, you and your boyfriend digging freshwater wells in Brazil, your boyfriend teaching sign language to blind deaf-mutes in the Australian outback. Your boyfriend sure seems like a nice guy, I will think as I pre-ejaculate on your leg."

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Will the real Truman Show please stand up?
According to Chris Roller, "If you like the X-Files, you'll love the rest of this..."

"How has my life been like the Truman Show? I am 37 years old now. Since 18 years old, when I left Smallville, Kansas and joined the Navy in 1985, the NIS, CIA, and FBI, and many others have been watching me in what will be known as the most important project mankind will ever witness! Why? (The journey to become god). There are numerous reasons. For one thing, because people and companies have said and done some very strange (harmful) things to me in my journey through life. The FBI and others have very passively been protecting me, while watching and gaining evidence of this activity in preparation for lawsuits pending."

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Happy birthday!
Our best to Joey Lawrence, Carmen Electra, Clint Howard and Adolph Hitler, all born on this day. More importantly, happy birthday to Wilder and Adam.

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Kittenpants

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