home whats new newsletter dear kitten favorites shop archives

THE DAILY SCOOP
Week of June 27-July 1, 2005

***
 

Interview: "Tom Cruise"
Every once in a while, we go for the big celebrity interview. When we fail, we settle for interviewing that celebrity's famous movie quotes. We've done it with Travolta, Walken, and Jackson; it was only a matter of time until we got Tom Cruise.

So I flew to meet Cruise's most famous lines in his Beverly Hills mansion. I spoke with:

BH: Dr. Bill Hartford (EYES WIDE SHUT)
CB: Charlie Babbit (RAIN MAN)
DA: David Aames (VANILLA SKY)
JA: John Anderton (MINORITY REPORT)
JG: Joel Goodson (RISKY BUSINESS)
JM: Jerry Maguire (JERRY MAGUIRE)
LTK: Lt. Daniel Kaffee (A FEW GOOD MEN)
MM: Mitch McDeere (THE FIRM)
NA: Nathan Algren (THE LAST SAMURAI)
RF: Ray Ferrier (WAR OF THE WORLDS)
RK: Ron Kovic (BORN ON THE 4TH OF JULY)
TJ: Frank T.J. Mackey (MAGNOLIA)
V: Vincent (COLLATERAL)

***

kp: Hi. My name is Darci. Nice to meet you.
TJ:
Denise.

kp: Sorry, no, it's "Darci."
TJ:
Denise the piece.

kp: Darci. You know what? Nevermind. Shall we go inside?
RF:
We're leaving this house in 60 seconds.

kp: But I just got here.
V:
Tell you the truth, whenever I'm here I can't wait to leave. It's too sprawled out, disconnected. You know? That's me. You like it?

kp: It's gigantic. How many people live here?
V:
17 million people. This is got to be the fifth biggest economy in the world and nobody knows each other.

kp: 17 million? Come on, Tom.
NA:
Two hundred and eleven.

kp: That sounds more like it. Still, you have a big staff.
LTK:
Are you asking me out on a date?

kp: What? No.
LTK:
It sounded like you were asking me out on a date.

kp: Because I said "big staff?"
LTK:
I've been asked out on dates before, and that's what it sounded like.

kp: Let's walk and talk. Congratulations on your recent engagement.
JM:
This is going to change everything.

kp: What did you think the first time you met Katie?
TJ:
"Oh, you're gonna give me that cherry pie sweet mama baby."

kp: Really?
TJ:
I will not apologize for who I am.

kp: It doesn't sound as romantic as I had been told.
JM:
What do you want from me? My soul?

kp: No, no. But how did you propose? What did you say?
JM:
I love you. You... complete me.

kp: Lame. What did she say, "Show me the money?"
JM:
SHOW ME THE MONEY!! SHOW MEEE THE MONEEEYYYY!!!!

MORE

***

 

Daily Archive

***

Facts
FAQs
Ask a Question
Meet the Staff
Join the KP Army!
Submit an article
Shop Kittenpants!!

***

New: Junkiness
Repress Yourself
TTD77c
KP on MySpace

***