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THE DAILY SCOOP
Tuesday July 26, 2005

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Paranoid thoughts
Branding iron is blazing hot, Ma. Metal is bright yellow, Ma. For heavens' sake, Ma, what do I do with it? I'm scurrying around with it and it hotter than a frying pan. Where's some cattle? I need to brand 'em. Heck, I can feel the scorching heat and it makes me think about death. I get sad, 'cause I've never seen Willie Nelson play and he's gonna die--just like the blazing yellow on this here iron did. It's cold steel now after I flung her in your lemonade.

Rheingolds
Brute force it open, Jerry. Wait, dude--you are pushing a boulder up a mountain, guy. The igloo's got the latch lock activated. Flip it up then flip up the flippin' door and flip me a brewhaha. Yummy Rheingolds are the sweetest hops. Listen, my classy ass needs to snack it up at Peter Luger's later. Need a beefsteak tomato with some A-1 and then jam some Bannanarama on my iPod. Cruel Summer will be flying out my mouth and I'm gonna notch down my shades and stare down the lawyer bunch at table 9.

I smell. Need some Axe full body spray.

Assignments
I clearly stated that Depeche Mode was faggy in my first paragraph in my thesis, dickhead. Thesis is like 5 pages long. It's smartly arranged and I'm proud. Sentences were laid out in a way with some bold letters making a striking portrait of me eating cantaloupe. Forked melon is a wry attempt at symbiotics. Melon is another way of saying "brain" and I talk so hip that I twist your melon man! I get wicked smart ass in the last line by spilling out some Spanish, Bitch. Check this quote out: "El Bano is Muy Guapo." Dude that espanol says it all. It's a romantic language and yes, dude, the bathroom is very handsome. If you care to retort any of these facts then please write your own goddamn thesis. I'm headached just clarifying myself.

Rankings
Marks out of 10? I give it an 8. Would be higher if the fish was wearing headphones. I know oil paint is hard and smelly toxic so I give you cred. I like the pink-pantied granny hosing her geraniums, and I truly appreciate the long-haired hippie dog toking on the bong while giving a peace paw. You dress so plain jane and you paint so gnarly weird. Boner pants I am. And it's hard to talk in English with you. I'd rather just peace paw you in a hammock then use a polka dot hanky to clean the cum off your fever-blistered lips.

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The lunatic rantings of Hollis.

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