No Man Is, Sees Island
Michael Bay has his own reasons why no one saw his futuristic flop, THE ISLAND on its opening weekend. Here are ours.

Movie doesn't explore the whimsical nature of cloning, a la MULTIPLICITY

Karl Rove already leaked the ending.

Jessica Biel not chainsawed to death

Ewan McGregor/Scarlett Johansson don't have the same on-screen chemistry as Liv Tyler/Ben Affleck, the comedic sensibilities of Will Smith/Martin Lawrence, or the sexual tension of Nic Cage/Sean Connery

Dystopic future no longer entertaining since the Bush administration began making it a reality.

Michael Clarke Duncan's character doesn't suck the cancer out of anyone's testicles

Cut the scene where Scarlett Johannson comes out of the screen and bes my girlfriend

Not fond of the silent "S"

Already saw LOGAN'S RUN

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Kittenpants and Matt Tobey.

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