Dear Campground,
Ringing out my tees and undies. Sasquatch kidnapped me and satiated my entire body. I have every liquid made from the body caked on my clothes and dirt-clogged skin.

The tear stains are from me--my eyes were crying so hard that the tears were flying horizontal. Blood stains came from the bigfoot toenail gash on my face; at night we would spoon perpendicular and he footed my throat to suffocation and scarred my mug. Piss was his, for I was his late night commode as well as his hairless plaything. Lazy Yeti couldn't get up from bed to take a leak. The sperm (which is as abundant as the saliva) is from the both of us. And the rest? Well, no one has ever studied the Sasquatch before but I can tell you that when it mates it regurgitates bile from the liver and for some messed up reason rubs it in his lover's face.

When I finally jabbed that stick in the big guy's a-hole I was able to make a run for it. Oh, the screams BIYABBA was making. His sex slave made it to the general store at the camp ground. College kid was playing Shiny Happy People when I walked in. He fled the store after I ripped the radio from the shelf.

If it was Everybody Hurts the outcome would have been different. I am writting you as an apology and will pay for all damages. Please don't press charges.

***

Hollis

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