Like most pale-skinned nerds I spent much of the past three months indoors, enduring one blockbuster after another. When I couldn't find a watchable movie at the multiplex (even with the lowest of standards) I would pick up a handful of previously-viewed DVDs from the video store. Sometimes as I browse the titles I wonder, "what the fuck were they thinking?" Then I realize it's only a matter of time until What the Fuck Were They Thinking? The Movie.

How many critics and audiences love the new Ben Kingsley movie? I Suspect Zero.

What do you call two hours in the dark with Catherine Zeta-Jones? Intolerable Cruelty.

How many Jennifer Lopez movies suck? Enough.

Wimbledon? 40 Love it. Everyone else thinks its the Deuce.

Garfield: The Movie... because Garfield: the Unfunny Piece of Shit was already taken.

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead... i.e. as soon as the credits roll.

From Justin to Kelly to the nearest trash bin.

How to Lose a Guy in 10 days may be difficult. How to lose a guy after roughly 90 minutes of Hudson/McConaughey is fairly self-explanatory.

She Hate Me... too easy.

What the Fuck Do We Know? Again...easy. Do you see what I'm saying here people? They are begging for it.

What's the Worst that Could Happen?
1. seeing this movie
2. the Holocaust.

You asked.

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by kittenpants

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