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THE DAILY SCOOP
Wednesday October 19, 2005

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Celebrity Auctions
These days every celebrity is auctioning off a piece of himself, usually for charity. That's why Paris Hilton sold her $4.7 million engagement ring from Paris Latsis. That's why Demi and Ashton sold their exclusive wedding photos to OK magazine. And it's probably why Katie Holmes rented her vagina to Tom Cruise's semen.

You know why someone's selling a broken headlight from "Lindsay Lohan's" paparrazzi-smashed car? Because somebody's gonna buy it. And now everybody's scrambling to climb aboard the auction-y bandwagon. Here's what they're putting up for bid.

Prince Harry: one authentic Nazi costume
Billy Bob Thornton: his "just-like-fucking-Angelina" couch
Angelina Jolie: a vial of Maddox's blood on a chain
Cameron Diaz: 500 acres of Brazilian rainforest (as seen on Trippin!!). Cut down and delivered to you (free shippin'!)
Justin Timberlake: his old braids ('member when he had cornrows?!!)
Kirstie Alley: "Fat! Fat! I'm so faaaaat!"
Gus Van Sant: regurgitated Damon-and-Affleck jizz
Luke Wilson: Owen's real nose
Winona Ryder: whatever she can get her grubby little hands on
Pam Anderson: a vial of Hepatitis C
Ray Romano: all the love in the world

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