TOILET PAPER CO. IMPOSES SANCTIONS ON RED STATES
New York artist and toilet paper baron, Jed Ela, has imposed an economic embargo on Red states. His SHITBEGONE toilet paper will no longer be made available to residents of red states, and the cost has been drastically reduced for those in blue states.

"We cannot in good conscience do business with states which have made an informed choice to actively sponsor war and terrorism. Nor can we support the Red States' decision to affirm and expand policies of official bigotry and denial of human rights, up to and including false imprisonment and torture, against ethnic, religious, and cultural minorities in the Red and Blue States and abroad."

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Kittenpants

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