Un-Fucking-Believable
I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm at an age when television commercials feature songs from my formative years. Morrissey's voice driving luxury car ads, the Buzzcocks peddling SUVs, songs about heroin pushing cruise ship vacations--it's bizarre, to say the least.

The real heartbreaking stuff is when they take a song and rewrite the lyrics to fit the product advertised. I died a little the day fake-DEVO asked me to "Swiff it good!" with the Swiffer broom. And when Sir Mix-a-Lot's ode to ass became part of a Target Back-to-School campaign, I stopped looking for meaning in the world. Do the kids dancing to "Baby Got Backpack" even know how many levels of wrong that is?

And then it entered the realm of fantasy. The best/worst/best commercial, ever!, aired last night. In it, Kraft cheese "Crumbles" were pronounced "Crumb-believable!" to the tune of EMF's only hit song.

Yes. That's right. Someone at Kraft thought that a 10-year-old song by a band called "Ecstasy Mother Fuckers" would be the right choice to sell its prepackaged cheese product.

To these ad wizards I offer the following hits of 1995 and best paired product suggestions.

Kittenpants.
Feel free to submit your own links/comments.

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