Here are some jokes I made up today when I was bored.

Q. What is 11 + 12?
A. Go ask an Asian person-- they totally LOVE math!

Q. What is the difference between eating shit and working a 9-5 job?
A. You couldn't PAY me to work a 9-5 job!

Q. What do you get when you cross Samuel L. Jackon and double negatives?
A. You don't not get a bad motherfucker, motherfucker.

Q. What happens when you live in Manhattan that doesn't happen when you live in Brooklyn?
A. I might visit you.

Q. What do you get when you cross Anna Nicole Smith with Playboy?
A. Dick repellent.

Q. What's the difference between a funny joke and a stupid joke?
A. Paul Rodriguez

Q. What do you get when you cross liquor with cigarettes?
A. In my family you get addicted. And it's a good bet you'll die of cancer.

Q. What do you get when you cross a homeless veteran with a teen runaway?
A. TWO blow jobs.

Q. What do you get when you give a British schoolteacher the idea that he has talent?
A. Sting.

Q. What do you get when you tell a Texas cop to leave you alone?
A. A mouthful of semen.

Rick James walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Get the fuck out. We don't serve you in here." Rick James says, "Because I'm black?" bartender says, "No." Rick James says, "Because I'm dead?" Bartender says, "No, bitch - you owe me money!"

by Kittenpants.

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