Dear kittenpants:
I think the Asian women that works behind the counter at the liquor store has a crush on me. This is what she has complimented me on recently:

• my ID picture
• my penmenship
• my choice of beer
• my fine, tight ass

She is much older and has a big dog. Should I:

• Go for it?
• Stop drinking?

Jim

Dear Jim:
First of all, you may be reading a little too much into her appreciation of your penmanship, beer, and ID photo. Although if she has used the combination of adjectives "fine" and "tight" to describe your ass, you may be onto something.

However, if it is by your own embellishment that the words "fine" and "tight" were used to describe your ass, and if they are, in fact, applicable to your ass, you should:

• Nevermind about that liquor store woman.
• Call me.

You saw that one coming, right?
xoxo,
kittenpants