Dear kittenpants:
Classic Folk Wisdom", fuckin hilarious, i laughed for like, 1/2 a minute, cuz it wasn't that funny you asshole.

Aimee

Steve Douglass responds:
Aimee notes that, upon reading my piece, Classic Folk Wisdom Reinterpreted, she laughed for “like, 1/2 a minute.”

Consider this: Aimee spent more time (by a factor of four) laughing at that piece than I did actually writing it (the mark of a truly great piece of comedic writing, according to Aristophanes). So I think it’s fair to say that she got her money’s worth.

I do agree with her, though, that the piece in question does not represent my best work (notice that Aimee, tough critic though she clearly is, has nothing nasty to say about my famously hilarious, widely praised “Hardcastle And McCormick Episode Guide”).

We run on a series of pretty tight deadlines here. Did you know that a new issue of Kittenpants is produced, like, almost every, like, six or fifteen weeks or something?! I don’t think any reasonable person would expect for all of us, operating under that sort of pressure, to produce brilliant work every single time out of the gate.

I know from other letters I’ve received that I have often made many of you laugh in a way that leads you to conclude that I can only be some sort of incredibly virile, dynamic, super-potent, all-powerful comedy god. I am, alas, only human--a person just like you Aimee, with the same hopes and fears, the same deep, deep needs and desires, the same passions.

We’re not so different you and I.

Who knows? If you got to know me better, you might even find that you like me.

All I’m saying is, maybe we should hook up sometime.

Seriously.

I mean, I know from your letter that you think I’m a witless asshole, but I’m totally cool with that.