Interview: Bruce Campbell
KP Issue V: Van Halen!
KP: How many times have you been asked if you will be in the new SPIDERMAN movie?
BC: I can't count that high...
BC: When asked, sure!
KP: Do you have any plans to work with Clint Howard?
BC: Many plans, but they're very hush-hush. If I told you, I'd have to kill you...
Have you ever done karaoke?
KP: What song? Was it LADY by STYX?
BC: Brandy - that cheezy 70s sailor song.
KP: In the grand tradition of films like CHOPPING MALL and ELECTRIC DREAMS, do you have a favorite evil robot/evil computer movie?
BC: Yes, the robot from Lost in Space - the 60's TV show - scared the hell out of me with those flailing arms. Aaaaaah!
KP: Why don't I see you on talk shows more often?
BC: Because my lips are sewn shut as part of a restraining order from my 5th wife. Talk shows aren't cool if you can't talk. You dig?
KP: On 'Jack of All Trades' do you ad lib lines like 'Over my leathery butt crack,' or does someone actually write that into the script?
BC: That was a combo of an ad lib and a tweak from the director of the episode, but yes, I enjoy having the latitude sometimes on shows to do that - that's what we actors do.
KP: Sheesh! That question really got away from me. Do you get the craziest fan mail? What is the weirdest thing any fan has sent you?
BC: These 10 questions... Other than that, I was presented with my first fan to get an Evil Dead tattoo. Love like that lasts forever, man...
KP: Tell us a story!! What's the wildest thing that happened during the filming of the EVIL DEAD movies?
BC: To get the last shot of the film (where an evil entity races through the woods and runs into me) Sam Raimi mounted a camera on a motorcycle and rode it, full speed, into me. He screwed up his knees and I cracked a few ribs, but it's for art, right? Right?
KP: That's the best story ever. Besides you, who is the best 'Bruce' in the entertainment industry?
BC: Are there any other Bruce's in the biz? If so, I'd like to meet them. We could bond and tell jokes beginning with the letter B.
Corn Mo: Will you produce my rock-n-roll movie?
CM: Is Joe Bob [Briggs] your dad?
CM: Have you ever been seduced into Scientology?
CM: Is Tom Cruise your arch-rival?
BC: Yes, but he doesn't admit it - he pretends like he doesn't know me.
CM: How much ass do you get?
BC: More than you can possibly imagine.
CM: Will Brisco County ever be a movie?
BC: Yes - we start shooting tomorrow at 8:00 a.m. - you bring the doughnuts.
CM: Will you ever do a buddy movie with Buddy Hackett-"Tales of the Gold Monkey" movie?
BC: Been there, done that.
CM: Do you like strippers?
BC: Of course I like them - I AM a stripper.
CM: Do you like Van Halen?
BC: Not sure - does he do on-line trading?
CM: Do you like Rush?
BC: Do you like really smelly gym socks?
CM: Have you ever "let loose" in a department store?
BC: Yes, but only once. I was young.
CM: Will you ever write yourself a vehicle to speed past Keanu and Cruise?
BC: Snoresville, baby.
CM: Will you run for office in due time?
BC: I have run for office. I am mayor of California. Hello? Do you read the papers?
CM: Do you eat candy much?
BC: Wait a minute, let me finish chewing my mouthful of Circus Peanuts.
CM: Why hasn't somebody put you with Cusack? Because nobody has vision.
BC: It's because of me - I'm blind.
CM: Would you ever play GI JOE?
BC: Why not? That's my nickname, baby.
CM: You should have your own sitcom based on "Army of Darkness" where you work at the department store and fight evil and call it "Nobody Gets Me".
BC: And you should leave your apartment at least one time per fiscal year.
CM: Trey Parker and Matt Stone will call you soon if they know what's good for them.
BC: I'll be sure to get call waiting...
CM: You could play a time-traveling evangelist that fights demons and then learns a lesson or two about people.
BC: You could help me pick the lint out of my navel, but what fun would that be?
CM: You could play anybody better than the A-list. If you ever played with Nicholson the camera would explode and Pacino and DeNiro would be jealous for the rest of time.
BC: You speak of these so-called actors. Who are they? Do they do dinner theater in Orlando?
CM: Who is your favorite band?
CM: Do you work out?
BC: I prefer to work IN.
CM: Do you make time for lunch?
BC: No - I DO lunch.
CM: Would you like fans to carry you on their backs for a fundraiser called "Bruce Across America"? It could happen.
BC: I did it, but I quit when fans dropped me on my head in Boot Lick Wyoming.
CM: Can we get together for beer and mutton someday?
BC: Tomorrow at 7:30 okay for you? I'll tell my people...